Out of Spoons!

Well clearly I’m doing well at keeping to a schedule…. not. It’s a good thing I don’t have a huge following behind this or I’d likely be nagged by people about when my next post was going to be. So yes once again I’m late…. deal with it?

One thing I identify strongly with is the ‘Spoon analogy’ and anyone who knows me or follows me on Instagram knows that I use the # for it a lot. Here is the link to the original definition of the spoon analogy, but if you don’t want to read it I generally summaries it as the following:

Everybody gets a certain amount of spoons a day and doing day to day tasks costs a number of spoons. For an abled/non-spoonie, their spoons can be limitless and/or the cost of using a spoon is smaller. For someone like me we have a limited number of spoons a day and when we use them up … well generally it means we’re too low on energy to do anything. (https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/)

For this past week I used up all of my spoons. It was a good week, don’t get me wrong…I got a lot achieved and I got to socialise with some of my closest friends… but it was still a lot for me to go through mentally and physically. Which is why I spent the entirety of Sunday (after dropping off birthday presents to one friend) laying in bed and binge watching Netflix. I tried to write a blog post but honestly my brain could barely handle speaking coherently let alone typing. And the thing with chronic illnesses is is that the punishments for enjoying oneself don’t go away after one day of rest. Generally I have found that I suffer more the second and third day after a social/active day. Like so many others I really have to plan when I’m going to do certain activities that I know will have a negative impact on me afterwards – such as seeing more than two people a week.

AUDREY IS ALIVE

Audrey is alive. For the moment. I’m due to feed her tomorrow as she now resides in the fridge, although there is an awful lot of water sitting on top of her so I’m not sure if that is normal? I’ll have to look it up. Regardless she is ready for some baking to happen so once I have the mental focus and physical energy to make some sourdough bread I will!

BIRTHDAY’S EVERYWHERE

However I did do some baking last week! As said it was three friend’s birthday’s. Unfortunately I was only able to make one cake for two of my Harry Potter nerds, so the other got a shop bought cake called Eric (caterpillar cake). My cake tasted great, especially for being both gluten and dairy free, but unfortunately I’m not the greatest decorator in the world… and my dairy free buttercream really didn’t want to cooperate with me. So it sort of splurged out. Regardless it was the thought that counted and they both seemed to enjoy it!

I am also very lucky in that my parents decided to buy a hot tub last year and I love it. It is a great help for when my joints decide that they want to complain and when my muscles join in as well. But it’s also great for socialising in and generally relaxing. During the hot weather in the UK we managed to turn it right down so that it was actually cooler in the hot tub than it was everywhere else. I’ll often sit in the tub during the early hours of the morning if I can’t sleep as it’s wonderfully relaxing and really peaceful at 3am.

I think my friends just like it because it’s a hot tub. It’s very much a luxury item to most people, but for my it’s now an essential. Especially since we’re getting rid of our bath tub soon.

Another thing my friends and I all have in common is our love of board games! They’re definitely something people need to get into more. I’m not the best, especially when it comes to things like monopoly but they’re definitely still fun. My Harry Potter nerdy friends brought over some of her HP related board games so they were very fun!

So here’s to a calmer week and catching up on some much needed ‘me’ time.

I’ve already been far more productive today that I thought I would be considering I’m completely out of spoons. I’ve been for a walk, completed my physio exercises for my shoulder and I managed to do a blog post! Yay! It’s the small wins you need to keep a track of.

Stay happy. Stay Healthy. Stay Beautiful!

And remember;

Everything will be alright in the end. If it’s not alright, then it is not the end.

Shh! Audrey is sleeping…

Dear Diary….

Well I am slightly late in this weeks post. I gave myself the goal that I would make a new blog post at least once a week, as then I might actually begin posting consistently. But honestly this week has been very up and down.

I started the week with some fun tie dying with a friend. I’ll have to take some photographs for the next blog post as right now I am not suitable for photographs to be taken. But it was definitely fun and a wonderfully needed break away from the house for an evening. The only downside was that we didn’t get to order the Chinese we wanted (Out of delivery range) and I may have accidentally stained the garden patio….oops.

Earlier in the week I got in contact with an amazing woman called Victoria who works as a type of life couch. (Link at the bottom of the blog) She was lovely to talk to and believes that her skills in hypnotherapy and BWRT (Brain Working Recursive Therapy) will massively help my mental health when it comes to my illness. I explained to her that it’s not a case of not wanting to feel pain, because sometimes we do need to feel it…. it is my feelings of helplessness, uselessness and guilt that need to be addressed. I shouldn’t have to feel guilty for taking a day here and there for myself, but similarly I shouldn’t feel like I can’t do anything. I need to learn when it’s okay to push myself that little bit more and get things done, and when to say ‘no’ to people and activities.

I also said goodbye to my trusted, noble steed that was Henry, my car. Also known as ‘The Pope Mobile’ by many friends and family. He was passed onto my mum from my grandparents after they gave up driving, who then passed the car onto me when I first passed my test. The old man has done me well on many trips around the UK so I think he was definitely deserved of his retirement, after some strange (and expensive) sounds were coming from him.

However I did unfortunately pick up a small stomach bug this week as well, which is why the blog post is late. It just reaffirmed that what only knocks back an abled person, like my dad, for a day knocks me back for much longer. Thankfully at the moment I don’t have a job or other out of home commitments so I could take the few days needed to get some rest.

I’ve started making sourdough!

Meet Audrey, my sourdough starter. My mumma bought me a ‘Naturally gluten free sourdough starter’ course from Udemy at the beginning at the lockdown in the UK. Unfortunately my habit of procrastination and sheer forgetfulness has meant that I’ve not started it until now. It seems simple enough but we’ll see how it goes. So not only will you be following my journey, you’ll get to follow that of Audrey!

That’s it for this week!

Stay happy. Stay healthy. Stay Beautiful.

And Remember:

Everything will be alright in the end. If it’s not alright, then it’s not the end.


Victoria Maskell (Hypnotherpay/BWRT) : https://www.victoriamaskell.com/home